| Bio |
's April Newsletter
Greetings All,
Would you believe it? I just won another Leather Boot award at the Swedish Linedancer Awards show. This makes my fourth in a row where I beat out so many other semi-talented performers. Yeah me! It just goes to show you that if you work hard, you too can have all of the prestige that I have endured singing over the years. I do want to thank those that voted for me, because you are very special people and have touched me beyond words.
I couldn’t afford to go myself to accept my latest Leather Boot award because those people from the Swedish Dance Board were too cheap to fly me there personally and handle my “special needs” with regards to my high fat diet, but my friend Krusty the Clown accepted my award with a special acceptance speech that I personally wrote. (Copies of my speech are available to all of you wonderful people at the low low price of $7.50 – autographed copies are $10.00) I did, however, manage to make it a Swedish Bathhouse in Yonker's and perform a song or two later that month.
I would like to express my disappointment with you dancers who have chosen to use different music for the line dance that was created for the “Biloxi” song from my latest album, Counterfeit Blues (only $14 plus shipping & handling). Top choreographer Jody Tombstone created that line dance and it should only be used for my song Biloxi! I am now asking for your help folks. Please be on the lookout for any places doing this dance to non-Cooter music. If you see this happening, please video tape this evidence immediately and send me the tape. I will then see that these offenders are punished!
After Cooter witnessed evidence of dancers not performing the "Biloxi" line dance to his song, dancing at the Springfield Senior Center has been suspended
Next week, I plan to go on a whirlwind 3 day tour to the "Cooter" sanctioned Senior Homes for semi-retired dancers. I have found such an overwhelming response to my music from these folks that I am choked up beyond words. As my good friend Sally Fields would say, “You like me, you really like me.” I also have donated to so many worthwhile senior charities and I just want to let you know that I don’t do it for the publicity, but rather to show people the softer and more gentler side of Cooter. I do this with total selflessness and to show the seniors that I really care about their needs. And if I do happen to sell more music in the process, then more power to me. Anyway, I have found that the seniors seem to support me more than the rest of you seem to do. I can only assume it’s because they don’t have all of that sophisticated equipment to make bootleg copies of my music and sell it all over the place.
This week’s counterfeiter of the month is Edna Gump from Mt Peiler, VT. Edna is suspected of peddling 500 illegal copies of my Give Me A Break album (only $12 plus shipping & handling) at the Senior Center and selling them across the country closing down various music stores in the process!
COUNTERFEITER OF THE MONTH
Edna Gump - Recently Busted by Cooter!
A great big thanks to one of my favorite Cooter Scouts for the bust!
FAN OF THE MONTH
Scout Sharey Carey single-handedly brought down Edna Gump!
And speaking of counterfeiters, I have just set up a special hotline for you to call if you even suspect someone of making pirated music. Don’t worry about whether or not it’s true as I will personally get to the bottom of it by publishing their names in my monthly newsletters! The number to call is N-A-I-L-T-H-E-B-A-S-T-A-R-D-S and let them know of your suspicions. And remember, no suspicion should go unreported. And it’s great to see all of you dancers sending me pictures of people in the act of burning music. I do plan to offer these pics back to these counterfeiters to buy them back before I report them to the proper authorities.
In closing, I heard about the violent act at last week’s Ice Cream and Dance Festival when a couple of suspected counterfeiters almost lost their very lives after a group of very overzealous fans locked them in a freezer for over 10 hours. Just so you know, these folks were producers from Krispy Creme Records who were planning on bringing me aboard their label. But don’t worry, there are plenty of other US labels out there and one of these days I’ll be back on board one of them. That is if you stop the counterfeiters from selling 500 copies of my music at one shot. So you keep your eyes and ears open.
Love,
In case you missed it:
