| Bio |
's October Newsletter
Howdy everyone.
I am gearing up to
go to
Ketchinkan,
Alaska
to work with famous comedian
Rip Taylor at the The Rockin' Igloo Dance Pond. It will be my first
trip to the frozen tundra this year and my only trip this
year. I am looking forward to seeing many dancers and instructors that know
of me and now will be able to give them a big thanks for recognizing my
picture after sending several different shots to them for months now.
My office is doing
a complete overhaul as many of us were affected by my loss of my music sales
following the September 11 Attacks a year ago and are still reeling with the
aftermath. Because my office is an International Distribution Company
for Dance and Chicken Products, we were affected with costs rising due to
the cost of Wesson Oil going ballistic. And entire countries suffered when
they couldn’t obtain copies of my latest CD due to security reasons. But
things are starting to level out now as my Cooters are busy sneaking in
fresh material to underdeveloped and music starved countries. I’ve also
established a new 5% discount for those who have lost their jobs but still
can’t do without their Cooter music! Just send me your latest unemployment
check and I will send you the equivalent in music and material.
And those ordering before the end of this month will also receive a $10
chicken shack gift certificate which will go a long way to feeding your
starving spouse and kiddies.
Thanks again to all who have supported me, my music and my Chicken Shacks.
Because of you, my company is still thriving!
Then it's on to New
Guinee to work the Paper or Plastic
Vinyl Music
Festival for a Saturday and Sunday Show which will be hosted by Lauren Tewes
of Love Boat fame. They are expecting over 30 vinyl music fanatics
so it should be loads of fun. Please check out www.cooterscoming.com/ and
see if I am coming anywhere near you
(and tell your friends to buy my music). My schedule is updated by the hour.
I have just
returned from my Chicken Shack in
Biloxi
where I met with the Homeless Olympic Committee in May 2003. After giving a
four hour speech on the evils of music piracy, we came to the conclusion we
will host a Chug-A-Lug Booze, Cigarette & Line Dance Dance Social on May
29-30-31 with the Opening Ceremonies on June 1st.
I will have a host of “Cooter Sanctioned” Instructors (to be announced soon)
and a Instructors Workshop led by Jody Tombstone and Inga Sampson right next
to the Santa’s Village by my newest Chicken Shack, which will be the core of
the whole Homeless Olympics. They expect 17 Wine-loving Competitors and over
400 Homeless Wine-loving Spectators to cheer homeless from some of the most
notorious street corners across the US of A . I will be sending out
information as it comes in to me. Because of this, my Instructors Page is
updated weekly as well with Instructors who teach to the Homeless (those
without a home for over 50 days). So if you are "homeless and destitute,"
you too can get geared up for this event in your area of the USA. It is open
to those who live outside the
USA
as long as you can prove that you’ve lived on the streets for over 50 days
now. (Pictures of you posing inside stranger’s garbage cans will not be
accepted unless they can be authenticated!)
I have hired someone new to work with me on this project. His name is Minnie The Moocher who brings years of experience with him begging borrowing and the occasional pilfering (but never my music). Jody Tombstone is my key "Homeless Dance Guru" who will be guiding us all through a successful Homeless Olympic Addition. I am also proud to announce that Laramie Cigarettes will now help co-sponsor the Olympics. Those homeless men specifying a preference chose Laramie over anything else. We are in talks to bring aboard Krusty Kreme donuts as well so hopefully we’ll have some great snacks to provide everyone as well.
Did you know there are 300 Homeless Games in the USA? I am so honored that they have asked me to help bring Line Dancing to the Homeless because they need social activities as much as the next person! And I promise plenty of whiskey and cigarette breaks between sets!
Another bit of good news is I just finished the latest "Chicken Shack" commercial so those of you in the Biloxi area will want to set your VCR’s to record between 2 and 5am each night so you can catch all 3 of my new ads! Now if I could just get rid of all of those dang KFC’s! <grin>
We have yet to catch a counterfeiter this month, however, officer Stanley Brumpford is on the lookout and is very close to yet another capture!
ATTENTION COUNTERFEITERS:
Officer Stanley Brumpford is hot on your trail!
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Report A Counterfeiter:
Up to $10
in Chicken Shack gift certificates., If you think you see a
counterfeiter, don’t ask for any explanation. Just report them to me and
I’ll take care of them real good! Just call 976-PIRACY (only $10 per
call), Or by sending e-mail to
killallcounterfeiters@cooterdee.com and I will not
publicly disclose the identity of the
person submitting information without consent, unless it is requested by a
government agency, law enforcement agency, or by someone putting up lots of
cash.
Love,
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